This is the second day for "Liquid Gold" (Follistim), and my mind is already playing tricks on me. Tonight, as I dialed the pen to 125IU, I got to thinking, Did I dial the correct dose last night? I can't remember doing that. I don't remember dialing the pen to 125. I was very preoccupied with loading the pen correctly with the new vial. What if I just wasn't thinking clearly and only dialed it to 25IU? What have I done? I have three 300IU vials. I compared the used vial to the new ones, but I can't tell. The vial doesn't have marks on it. I won't know until Friday night after I've used the new vial two times and compare them. Then, it will be too late to call the doc and ask what to do. I'm freaking out. Something like this happens every time.
I just had a talk with Gaby about this. God makes babies. Not doctors. Not medicine. God doesn't need me or anything I can do to make this baby. Still, he doesn't need me to be careless, either.
This is my journey . . . as the mother of angels . . . and one sweet girl who will walk this Earth with me.
I do this too when I'm under stress. When Jesalyn gets sick and I'm giving her tylenol, I triple check the dosage and then make Jarrod check it twice and then I say it out loud so I know for sure we're all on the same page. It's easy to drive yourself crazy, but there comes a point when you just have to give it to God and not worry (easier said than done right?)
ReplyDeleteHang in there!! This is an exciting time!!!