Last week I had a blood test to determine if the presence of antibodies caused Tater Tot's demise. Both my OB and fertility doctor went immediately to the possibility of antibodies when they learned I had miscarried my baby. I was surprised to get a phone call from the nurse today reporting that these antibodies were found in my blood. This means my body treated my baby like a foreign body. My perfect, happy little baby was just snuffed out by me, her own mother - the one who loves her the most. I just can't wrap my mind around it. What I really can't understand is why, if a simple blood test can keep a woman from having a miscarriage, wasn't this test done before I got pregnant, especially considering the loss I had just endured? I am so mad at my doctor right now I can't even see straight.
I lost Tater Tot 6 1/2 weeks ago, but this news hit me hard today, like it's happening all over again. I did this to her. I told you I did. Maybe not the way I thought, with stress or crying or fighting, but it doesn't matter. My perfect daughter slipped away from me over something that could have been prevented so easily. How could this happen to me?
I was supposed to be 18 week pregnant right now. This is the week we were supposed to find out she was a girl. What would it be like right now if these were tears of joy?
Hey Bonnie, don't know if it will make you feel any better but I have paternal antibodies, had 3 losses before I found out. Once I found out, and got pregnant again, I started treatment, and my Jake showed up perfectly healthy nine months later. Tracy.
ReplyDeleteHang in there Bonnie.
ReplyDeleteYou are loved. By so many people, but most importantly God. He wants happiness for you. Believe that. It will come.
Dear Bonnie,
ReplyDeleteToday you stand at a Y. There are two roads before you. One is full of pain and regret, the result of blame you could choose to put on yourself. This road has a dead end. The other road is faith. Brother Hagin used to say the natural and the supernatural working together create a powerful force for God. the knowledge that you now have coupled with faith in God and his ability and willingness to fulfill the promises he has made in His word have the ability to lead you down a road that leads to the plans God has for your life. Plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future. I pray today that you will have the strength and courage to choose the road called faith. Don't give up on God. He hasn't given up on you. Love susan
As hard as this situation is, there are two things you need to remember: you didn't choose to miscarry your child, and she knows that; and, this answer now gives you renewed hope of carrying a child to term. My cousin lost three full-term babies and they never found out "why", so she quit trying for a baby because she couldn't stand the heartbreak. You have an answer, you have something they can treat, and you have every reason to believe that you can have a healthy baby. Rejoice! Blame changes nothing, fixes nothing, and hurts everyone. It's time to thank the Lord for an answer and for a promising future! I'm sending you lots of love!!
ReplyDeleteroyndebbie,
ReplyDeleteWhat a smart answer. Thank you so much.Amazing to see the work of God on this side of it all.
Bonnie