26 Weeks 1 Day: It was THE Room

Many of you know that my long time BFF, Amy, and I are prego at the same time (she's just 5 weeks ahead of me). Tuesday, we took a tour of St. Mary's Medical Center to get a glimpse into what having our sweet babies there might be like. Now, I already had this tour when I was 11 weeks pregnant with Gabriel and I did, in fact, give birth to him there. Amy was actually in the room when he was born. So, we both have a pretty good idea of how it all works. Still, she wanted the info from the perspective of having her precious baby boy, and I wanted a refresher on the happy baby birth experience. I never really know if what I experienced with Gabriel is how it is for everyone, or if things went a little differently because I had such a special baby.

The first stop on the tour was the LDR (labor, delivery, recovery) room. I knew we'd be seeing it, but when I walked in, I was immediately aware that this room looked exactly the same as the room where I had Gabriel.

"Is this the room?" I whisper to Amy.

"I think so," she says, knowing what I am referring to. "It was the very first room."

The tour guide is busy giving us the low-down on contraction monitors and the infant warmer, but I am staring at the bed, wishing I could lie down on it and pretend I am holding him again. In my mind, I am there. He is there. I can hear him. I can feel him. Only for a moment, then, I snap back before they even know I left . . . to that day, in that room, 538 days ago, the only place and the only day that I heard him cry and felt his breath on my cheek.

We continue the tour. Gabriel is at the front of my thoughts now, even more so than Baby Sister. It won't be long, though. Soon I will return here to make a new memory, and she will rule my heart and my thoughts every second of every day. We will tell her about Gabriel every day, how he loves her, how he loves us, and how she has a different mommy and daddy because of him--a better mommy and daddy I hope.

BUT FIRST, I'll go back to meet Amy's baby boy on his happy birthday. And she'll know. She'll know when I hold her newborn son, that I'll be thinking of mine.