"Hi. How are you?"

The other day, I had a conversation with my husband about my feelings when people routinely ask, "Hi. How are you?" That's silly, I know. Still, it always makes me pause. I work with a lot of people every day. So, naturally, I'm asked several times a day in passing, "Hi. How are you doing?" I know it's just out of courtesy, and nobody is actually asking in hopes of starting a lengthy conversation about my deepest, darkest, innermost feelings. It always makes me stop and think for a second, though. Am I supposed to say I'm fine and keep walking, or are they asking because they really want to know how I'm doing in light of my recent tragedies?

I used to respond to, "Hi. How are you?" with, "I'm fabulous!" and flash a big smile. That wasn't all that long ago. Now, of course I'm not going to say I'm fabulous. I can't really say I'm great. It feels like a lie to say I'm good. So, I've down-graded to "I'm fine. How are you?" giving a slight smile and walking on. I hate that, though. It's so boring. I feel like it's not true to myself - more like, not true to who I used to be, who I want to be.

Still, I get tired of saying I'm something I'm not. I've been doing that for a long time now. It wears me out. I'm not good or great or fabulous. I'm not fine. I'm sad. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of being afraid that I'm always going to be sad. I'm tired of crying all the time.

I can't say all those things, though. So, what should I say?

The day after I had this conversation with my husband, I ironically ran across an article in Woman's World (November 22, 2010) magazine titled Follow the 'Pura Vida' Secret to Happiness. It was about how a recent in-depth poll named Costa Rica the happiest country on the planet. According to the article, what is happiness secret #1? "Saying 'pura vida!'" --


"When someone asks how you're doing, you probably say "fine" or "busy." But ask a Costa Rican, and odds are she'll respond "pura vida," which translates as "pure life" but has many meanings, including "no worries," "full of life" or "going great." And by repeating that cheery phrase, everyone subconsciously reminds one another to stay focused on the positive!"

"Live pura vida yourself: Next time someone asks how you are, reply "great!" or "couldn't be better!" The brain's language and happiness centers are closely linked, says Pierce J. Howard, Ph.D., author of The Owner's Manual for the Brain. 'So positive words help keep you happy.'"


Okay. I'm gonna give it a try. No more being "just fine." From now on, I'm great, and before you know it, I just might be fabulous again, too.