31 Weeks 1 Day: Being a Good Girl

She has her head down! Her head is down and facing my right, facing the placenta actually. Her feet are up on my right side, and her little butt is over on my left. That's what I keep seeing stick up in a hard ball sometimes. I guess she likes to shake her booty!

Her weight is 3 lbs 13 oz. which is 46th percentile, completely average. The sonographer said she expects her to be about 6 lbs when I go back in four weeks, but of course she can't be sure. The baby's main job from now on is to pack on the weight. I guess it's my job to help her do that any way I can. Ha!

Baby Girl kept doing the most adorable thing all through the ultrasound. She was opening her mouth really wide and taking big gulps of amniotic fluid. Then, she would lick her lips and stick her tongue out like she thought is was so good. We could see her practicing her sucking with her sweet little lips. It looks like she is going to be a good eater!

The doctor checked my cervix  yesterday even though she felt it was unnecessary. Maybe it was, but I am now six days past when I had Gabriel, and I know how fast that thing can open up. Too fast. She said it was completely closed, and she could feel the baby's head resting on it.

I really hoped to get a good picture of the baby's face. However, she is hiding her face in the placenta and would only show us half of it. It looks like she has chubby cheeks, and I'm wondering if she has a dimple in her chin. Can you see dimples on ultrasounds? I don't know. Also, we still couldn't get any clear profile or face shots because her face is right underneath of a big knot I have on my belly caused by the heparin shots. The bruising interferes with the image. I guess we'll just have to wait until the birth to see her just like the pioneer women had to do. :) 



My cute baby foot

My pretty profile

My face cuddled up to the placenta

I have chubby cheeks. Mom wonders if I have a dimple in my chin.

It looks like the placenta is in my eye! I'm just all cuddled up with it.

I have a perfect spine. You know it makes my mom so proud.

30 Weeks 2 Days: This Was the Day

Today Baby Girl is 30 weeks 2 day which is the gestational age that I went into labor and had Gabriel. It really is unfathomable to me to even think about having her right now. I don't feel ready at all. I don't feel like I'm about to explode or like I just can't take it anymore. I feel completely fine. I'm just getting bigger and that makes things harder and more tiring.

That's not to say that I was "ready" when I had Gabriel. Physically, it was a struggle to continue with the pregnancy day to day, not because of all the problems we had, but because I just had a lot of pregnancy symptoms that were hard to deal with. Emotionally and mentally, I was definitely not ready to lose the pregnancy.

One week before, after noticing a significant decrease in fetal movement and response, I called my sister and told her it was time to make his outfit--no more waiting to see if he grew more. I called my friend and told her to get his song ready. I called the pastor and discussed my wishes for his big "going away party."

Two days before, I had an ultrasound that showed a kicking, playing, happy little boy. I told the doctor that he was barely moving in the two weeks prior, but after the ultrasound, she couldn't tell me that it meant anything was wrong. I knew though.

One day before, I woke up to a very tiny bit of brown on the toilet paper. This did not alarm me because I bled for two months straight. At that point, however, I hadn't bled for about a month. Still, I knew it was possible for some blood to show up, so I didn't go into a panic or anything. That afternoon around 4:45PM, I noticed a quarter-sized dollop of a clear, snotty blob on the toilet paper. My heart sank. It was my first pregnancy, but I was pretty sure what it was. A call to my sis gave confirmation to my thoughts--the mucous plug. She told me not to worry, though. That I could still have several weeks left after losing the mucous plug. So, I didn't go to the hospital. I did, however, shave my legs and cut my toenails and fingernails. (That's what you do, right?) I felt somber that night knowing that losing the mucous plug put our time together on a countdown; I just didn't know how little sand was left in our hourglass.

The morning of, I woke up refreshed after a good night's sleep for the first time in a long time. I figured that meant everything was okay, so I proceeded to get ready for work. I planned to call the doc and go in after school to get checked since we saw the blood and the mucous plug. While I was putting my make-up on, I began to feel pressure down low. I didn't think a lot of it because sometimes when you're pregnant, you just feel like that kid is gonna fall out even though you know it isn't. I felt a little more pressure, though, so I decided to take a half day at work and go to the doctor a little earlier. Then, as I grabbed my purse off the kitchen counter, I felt some pressure that knocked me off my feet. I decided to take the whole day off work, just going in to get my ducks in a row before heading to the doctor's office.

Three and a half hours later, we were at the doctor's office being told I was fully dilated and would be delivering within the hour.

Four hours later, I was still holding on, waiting for my sister to get there so she wouldn't miss the miracle we thought we wouldn't get.

2:34 PM He was born, and he cried, and I'll never forget it.

4:15 PM We gave him to Jesus.

Right now, at this moment, his little sister wiggles and wobbles and kicks and plays inside of me, right where he was, but oh so different than he was. From this point forward, I'll be in uncharted territory--a pregnancy stage I know nothing about. From this point forward, I'll look at the toilet paper every day watching for the spots and the clear snotty blob. From this point forward, I'll get ready . . . because she's coming, she's coming home.

Just to Let You Know . . .

. . . about the "BBQ" portion of this blog and why you haven't read anything about it lately. I think it's going by the wayside.

I included BBQ in the title of this blog (over a year ago now) because, at the time, I didn't know for sure that I would have Babies (as in more than one) to write about. I didn't know if I was pregnant with Tater Tot yet. If I was, I wanted the blog to be all about her. If I wasn't, I still needed something to blog about, and, at the time, BBQ concessions was something we were really busy with.

Fast forward one year: I'm very pregnant (too pregnant to help with festivals), and my husband, Phat Skinny, has a full time job. It makes it very difficult to do something that is such hard work and so time consuming. We are (gasp!) talking about giving up the BBQ business altogether. Like, I think I might have even him talked into selling the smoker (any takers?).

We went to two festivals this summer. The first was the Murray Kentucky Freedom Fest and the following weekend was Albion Pork Days in Albion, IL. Neither went well at all. The Freedom Fest has always been a homerun for us, but not so this year as they changed some things about the festival without really letting us know. This greatly affected the attendance. Albion Pork Days, of course, is nothing to write home about, but we did good enough there last year just selling shake-ups. This year, not so much. It's very discouraging. I think he's going to go to Grayville Days in Grayville, IL over Labor Day Weekend, just to do shake-ups, though. Honestly, meat just costs too much. It's too risky and takes too much preparation and we just don't have time for it.

For all you Fairfield readers, I know what you're thinking. What about the Fall Fun Fest? Yeah, we know. There really is no doubt about our ability to be successful at the FFF considering that you all are BBQ nacho fanatics. BUT, Skyler won't go. I will be past 36 weeks at that time, and he is very afraid of putting that much money into going and having to leave everything because the baby makes an early appearance. Besides, there is no way I can work it, and he just doesn't have anyone to help him.

I've been thinking about changing the name of this blog because of this, but I'm not sure if I should. I have quite the following and don't want to do anything to mess that up. What do you think?

29 Weeks 1 Day: We Have a Plan!

We went to our 29 week doctor's appointment yesterday and discussed our birth plan. At my first appointment, the doctor told us she would induce us at 38 weeks. I didn't really ask questions at that time because I figured we'd cross that bridge when we get there (just hoping, of course, that we'd get there). Well, I can see the bridge up ahead. It's gettin' close, folks!

Here's the deal (some of which I have explained before): I will go off the 81mg daily aspirin at 36 weeks. The reason for this is because the aspirin does reach the baby and it is not entirely safe for me to deliver while I/we (she, really) is still on the aspirin because of the risk of a brain bleed.

I will go off the Heparin the day before the scheduled induction. Here's where the decision had to be made. The Heparin does not reach the baby, so she is not affected at all by when I go off the Heparin. I am the one that could be affected. It is a small dose of blood thinner; it's not like I have water running through my veins or anything. Still, some anestestiologists won't perform an epidural unless I've been off the medication for at least 12 hours. My doctor said this is more likely to happen with an older doctor with an "old school" mentality. A younger doctor with a more modern way of thinking would realize that the dose was insignificant.

The decision is to either schedule an induction at 38 weeks and go off the Heparin the day before or hold out for a 39 week induction and go off the heparin the day before. As a mommy, I have to choose what's best for my daughter. At 38 weeks, there is a possibility that she will have to go to the NICU because of under developed lungs. At 39 weeks, she'll be good. I told the doctor I want to induce at 39 weeks, and I'll take my chances with the whole epidural/heparin thing. My baby cannot go to the NICU. She has to stay with me. I'm going to hold her and nurse her and never take my eyes off her and no one is ever going to take her away . . . not even down the hall to the NICU.

October 5, 2011 it is! At St. Mary's on Washington Avenue in Evansville, IN.

27 Weeks 5 Days: So Blessed

Saturday I had my very first baby shower in Fairfield, IL at Fairfield Cumberland Presbyterian Church where Skyler and I got married. It was a dream come true--everything I've been waiting for. Skyler and I are so thankful to everyone for coming and blessing us with your love, prayers, and gifts. And oh the clothes and hair bows baby girl got! She'll be the best dressed girl in Kentucky! I just can't wait to see how pretty she's going to be.

 27 Weeks

 Shower snacks

Me and my even more pregnant BFF, Ame

 The darling flower pot/diaper centerpiece created by my wonderful sister, Shana

 She made these flower cupcakes, too!

 My BFF Stacy and I

 The preggos think something's funny!

 Playing games

 Concentrating to win the prize

 Having fun!

 Excited to open the first gift

 Cute baby clothes

 A diaper bag

 More clothes

 OK. This is just too stinkin' cute!

 Can you tell this is all just making me way too happy?

 So sweet!

 Those hair clips are for the baby and me, right?

 Hehehe. A whole bunch of head bands!

27 Weeks: They're Gone!!!

The choroid plexus cysts on her brain are gone! At our 27 week ultrasound today (that's the third trimester!), her head was the first thing to come up on the screen. I could see right away that her head shape is perfect. It was so obvious that even I could believe it. Then, I could see that the scary black spots were gone! She has a perfect head and a perfect brain. I've waited so long for this thing that so many take for granted.

Magnificent, don't you think?

Then, we saw that Baby Girl is misbehaving a bit (She's a female. She does what she wants!) She is in the frank breech position. This means her head is up, her butt is down, and her feet are up by her face. 

Can you see her head on the left with her feet right above it and her bottom on the right? I think she's gonna be a gymnast. Her flexibility is pretty impressive!

It really was incredible watching my perfect baby today. I know perfection is what everyone expects, but for me, "normal" feels like an absolute miracle. My baby is normal, though. Actually, I'm pretty sure she far surpasses that. 

Her weight today is 2lbs 4 oz. She wiggled and moved during the entire ultrasound. She would not, however, move her feet and hands away from her face to get a good picture. I'm sure she just wants to make a dramatic entrance.

Speaking of the entrance, we discussed the delivery with the doctor today. In the beginning of the pregnancy, the doctor mentioned inducing me at 38 weeks. I've been pondering an induction lately, and it has me a little worried. She wants to time the birth with me going off the heparin and baby aspirin. I thought I was going off the heparin at 36 weeks. Wrong! I'm going off the aspirin at 36 weeks, but I'm not going off the heparin until the day before the delivery. The advantage of timing the delivery is knowing when to go off the medicine. Most women, as she says, worry about going off the heparin and still being pregnant. Right now, though, I don't really need the heparin to keep my baby alive like I did in the first trimester. Still, my doctor said she can't exactly guarantee that nothing will go wrong if I go off the heparin and then stay pregnant for another week or two. She even threw out the s word (stillbirth), which I'm quite sure she wouldn't use around me unless she really needed to. So, after this appointment, I'm not sure if we'll go for a 38 week induction, but I might let it happen at 39 weeks. Obviously, we need to pray about this.

26 Weeks 1 Day: It was THE Room

Many of you know that my long time BFF, Amy, and I are prego at the same time (she's just 5 weeks ahead of me). Tuesday, we took a tour of St. Mary's Medical Center to get a glimpse into what having our sweet babies there might be like. Now, I already had this tour when I was 11 weeks pregnant with Gabriel and I did, in fact, give birth to him there. Amy was actually in the room when he was born. So, we both have a pretty good idea of how it all works. Still, she wanted the info from the perspective of having her precious baby boy, and I wanted a refresher on the happy baby birth experience. I never really know if what I experienced with Gabriel is how it is for everyone, or if things went a little differently because I had such a special baby.

The first stop on the tour was the LDR (labor, delivery, recovery) room. I knew we'd be seeing it, but when I walked in, I was immediately aware that this room looked exactly the same as the room where I had Gabriel.

"Is this the room?" I whisper to Amy.

"I think so," she says, knowing what I am referring to. "It was the very first room."

The tour guide is busy giving us the low-down on contraction monitors and the infant warmer, but I am staring at the bed, wishing I could lie down on it and pretend I am holding him again. In my mind, I am there. He is there. I can hear him. I can feel him. Only for a moment, then, I snap back before they even know I left . . . to that day, in that room, 538 days ago, the only place and the only day that I heard him cry and felt his breath on my cheek.

We continue the tour. Gabriel is at the front of my thoughts now, even more so than Baby Sister. It won't be long, though. Soon I will return here to make a new memory, and she will rule my heart and my thoughts every second of every day. We will tell her about Gabriel every day, how he loves her, how he loves us, and how she has a different mommy and daddy because of him--a better mommy and daddy I hope.

BUT FIRST, I'll go back to meet Amy's baby boy on his happy birthday. And she'll know. She'll know when I hold her newborn son, that I'll be thinking of mine.