What does that even mean? I am definitely a thoughts-on-the-loose kind of girl. I always have been. This is especially true when I'm mad at someone, my feelings are hurt, or I'm worried. Guess which category I fall into right now.
I read an online sermon about this scripture which says, "if a thought pops up in our head we must be conditioned enough to realize we had the thought and analyze the thought in a nanosecond. Is this thought beneficial to God’s purpose or my own? Is it destructive or selfish, does it encourage and build up, or does it degrade and tear down? We must decide what thought we have, take it captive if it’s not of good intentions, or free the good thought of encouragement to build up God’s Kingdom. "
For my circumstance, I guess I need to ask myself (about a million times a day), "Is this thought beneficial to God's purpose or self-destructive?"
What are my thoughts? I really don't want to admit them. I'm ashamed to have them. I don't want to spell them out for fear they might materialize. Fear????? I really hate to admit that I have that. You people think I'm so strong, but fear means I'm so weak, doesn't it?
Let's just put it like this: This is my third pregnancy. With the first two pregnancies, I didn't have one inkling of fear or doubt, until . . .
Not even with the second pregnancy, after all I'd been through with the first, did I ever think for one moment that it wouldn't work out. This time, I'm taking all these shots. I have an alarm set every twelve hours to do battle with the forces inside my body that are fighting against me to keep my baby alive. It's scary, and it's a lot of pressure.
Everything just has to work out. I just have to have this baby(ies). But, my mind doesn't know what that looks like. It hasn't seen it before. I need to take captive the only thoughts I know and replace them with sweet dreams.
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